The weekend flew by, did it not?? I finally had time to sit back and relax once all the hub-bub was over, and now it’s back to real life.
Thank you to Katie over at Healthy Diva Life for the Marvelous in my Monday link up! I love reading everyone’s posts!
On Saturday we celebrated my baby sister’s baby shower. We had an intimate little gathering of our family and her boyfriend’s family, hosted at our house. Everyone had a wonderful time. The conversation flowed. We had time to catch up with people we hadn’t seen in a while and also welcome in the extended additions to our family. It was a wonderful time. It turned out really well (save for the AWFUL Cold Stone cake experience). Now we wait another month and a half for baby girl to arrive!
Admittedly I was nervous about being around unhealthy food. I was worried about having food guilt and feeling ‘fat.’ I am happy to say I really didn’t have much of an appetite so staying clear of pizza, M&Ms, and cake was pretty easy. I did get down with some Utz pretzels though because I am a carb lover, and pretzels are everything.
Food guilt is something I deal with more than I talk about with anybody. It is an important part of being in recovery and learning to let go of the notion of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods.
Lately I have been struggling with guilt over not eating 100% clean at all times (like today when I ate a whole ton of M&Ms and cake much to my stomach’s dismay). I ate secretively as if eating these treats should come along with the feeling of shame. It probably sounds silly to people who have never had issues surrounding food, but it is a very real issue for someone recovering from an eating disorder.
Still, though, it feels good to write it here and get it out into the open. I feel more human that way. I feel like I am breaking down the feeling of shame by admitting to not being perfect and allowing myself to indulge from time to time.
I have been working out consistently over the last month, and holding onto that proud feeling gets me through stuff like this.
Sunday was fairly low key. I had to switch my shift from Saturday to Sunday so I was at work early in the morning. All smiles as usual!
Most people would cringe at the thought of working every single weekend, but I honestly love it. I love talking with the women who come into the gym. I love having some time to myself to write or read a book or lose at Words With Friends playing against my sister. Sometimes if it is super quiet in the afternoon (usually on Saturday when I work) I can sneak in a short workout just before closing. I already told my manager I am on board for the fall when we extend our Saturday hours. I really like it there.
Sunday afternoon was spent with my love bug, building forts for magic tricks, eating tons of M&Ms and shrimp, laughing, and even food shopping. She is such a good little helper!
I am ready to get back to the daily grind though. Each day hoping I get one step closer to a better opportunity. To others my efforts may not be noticeable but from the black hole I was in a few months ago to now I have made tremendous progress.
It’s a new week to keep moving forward and get one step closer to living out my dream.
I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. I would love to hear about it in the comments below!